Insightful Tea and Crumbling Cookies

So Mother got us our favorite takeaway this evening. As she knows I keep this blog she made sure to order me a fortune cookie as well! Splendid.

Tonight’s fortune is: friday is your lucky day enjoy it.

Initial thoughts: tomorrow is friday. I now eagerly await to see what fortunes may come my way… 

Follow up: on friday I was gifted by my kind mother a fold-a-day origami calendar. I have decided to blog what I make. http://mainichiorigami.tumblr.com/ I hope you enjoy as much as I enjoy making them! 

Greetings. 

Apologies, as I know it’s been a while. Alas I’ve been too busy fighting through a bought of bad luck to seek any fortunes recently. Long story short, I’ve cut my loses and returned home to Cornwall to recuperate. On leaving Cardiff earlier today I felt it fit to open one last cookie (for it is where I started this blog after all). Last things packed up, last clean and clear round, fresh cup of tea and…

Today’s insight: there is good in every situation, just have to look for it. 

Initial thoughts: when I had finally finished all of the packing and cleaning in preparation to move back home I paused to open this cookie. It really made me smile, for I had already told myself a similar thing earlier in the morning. Last night, when packing up all my stuff, I found myself getting rather emotional. I realised that I was leaving cardiff, as my home (I know I’ll be back at points, but it’s not the same) and that suddenly hit me hard. A lot of memories came flooding back as I thought about the time I spent there. The thought of leaving seemed a tad sad… Yet, the dawn cast new light and with it a much more positive feeling about the past few years of my life. Instead of letting any sadness set in, I chose to recount the better times and ending up leaving with a smile on my face. For no matter how hard it got at points, overall I think I can say I had a good time in Cardiff. Also very grateful to the good friends I made, as they are really what made the good times!

Now when I got home, Mother treated us to a buffet banquet at our local thai/chinese. Lovely, as we know exactly what we want and it’s always brilliant. Nom nom nom. And as is the tradition, we got fortune cookies with the bill. So, a double whammy today!

Tonight’s insight: a half solved problem will be entirely solved next month.

Initial thoughts: I have many half solved problems at the moment… I wonder which one it will be!

(p.s. this post was written on the day I left Cardiff, yet I only just I realised I hadn’t published it)

Follow up: so over a month on and I can happily report that at least one half solved problem is sorted. The problem: what to do with my immediate future. The resolution: go to London and get into the wine business! The opportunity came up as a friend is opening a little, independent wine shop in Acton and asked if I wanted to get involved. And there I was looking for something to throw myself… The opportunity to a) work for someone I know; b) learn about wine, whilst being paid and c) kick about London for a while, well it just sounds super to me!

Since now the initial offer has been made official, and gratefully accepted, I have been up to London and also secured myself a flat. This move feels like a move in the right direction, as if suddenly everything is falling nicely into place for once. 

So overall, it’s big t’ings ahoy, as I believe this is going to be a rather exciting journey that I’m about to embark on. 

Greetings.

Today’s cookie insight: people begin to become successful the minute the decide to be. 

Initial thoughts: a repeat cookie (last dated 03/07/2012), but nonetheless just as suiting to my situation. Also follows on nicely from the previous cookie…

Interesting looking back to when I last got this insight. Not so long past, yet it feels like a life time ago right now. In July I’d just finished Uni and was fresh with freedom from the tyranny of academia! Hazzah, onwards and upwards I pronounced as I ran free in fields all summer. My top priorities back then were friends and festivals and I must say I was rather successful in fitting in a lot of both. And the friends party hasn’t really stopped yet, for after the festival season was over I returned to Cardiff to chill with the cool cats here before we all disperse on our different ventures. However, I feel this time of frolicking free is beginning to draw to an end. The present underlying feeling is it’s getting time to move on again. Where to? Lands over sea I think. Purpose? To discover how far the horizon stretches… The grass is always greener, hey?

Follow up: despite trying my hardest, as well as wanting to do my best, most of what I found was bad luck last month… Not giving up though!

Greetings all.

Today’s insight: leap and the net will appear.

Initial thoughts: so I’ve been a bit down recently for many reasons, but mainly because of the failure to find work here in Cardiff yet. This week I found out I was unsuccessful in the only interview I have had so far. Also my friend got a job we both went for at Lush - it’s just xmas part time work, but it’s one of the few high street shops I’d actually like to work for… Although I’m glad one of us got it I can’t help feeling a little jealous, which is never a pleasant experience. With underlying stress building up my sleep pattern is also screwed up, which if I don’t sort out soon will start a downward spiral of my mood and attitude. I guess I need to stop worrying about it all and just do some stuff. Even if I can’t find work there’s plenty of things to be doing with the days. Like the cookie suggests, it’s time to leap forth! Let’s see what happens, hey?

Follow up: so it’s been two weeks since I last updated this blog. In the first week the downward spiral continued and I found myself rather full of angst and stress still. Sometimes it’s just hard to shake of that kind of thing. However, last weekend I managed to get out of Cardiff for a change of scene and I feel this has had made the difference I needed. I can see that what I shall call ‘meta-worrying’ (worrying about worrying itself) is just going to hold me back. Obvious, I know, but sometimes these things need to be pointed out. There is just so much in the world - to do, to see, to become, etc… and yes this can seem overwhelming at times, but it also means there is great potential in life. With a little confidence then I’m sure anyone can go a long way. The hard part is just deciding which way to leap now… Being decisive has never been one of my strongest qualities, however this only means there is room for improvement! A learning experience I now hope to greatly enjoy. 

Also the minute I left I find that I may have scored two potential jobs back in Cardiff - call centre work or pizza delivery… Not the most exciting lines of work I must say, but it’ll do for now at least. Waiting to hear on follow ups now…

Greetings. 

Today’s insight: gratitude is the fairest blossom which springs from the soul.

Initial thoughts: I am already eternally grateful for the fortunes I already have in life - the love and support of friends and family really does keep me going. I wonder though, how is this gratitude best shown? Answer: with time and care, I think really. There’s no point in just throwing gifts about all over the place, as the cookie says rather this ‘springs from the soul’. For example this weekend I have returned home to spend time with the ol’ family. The days are still getting darker (none of us are great in the depths of winter) and there are still many troubles afoot, but it feels like we are each moving forward in our own way. Also a little return visit seems to give the folks a bit of a break from it all. Even though I’m off doing my own thing now it’s nice to return to give back some of my time for them.

Follow up: in reflection, I guess I say thank you a lot during the day - to a housemate for holding the door open, to the postman for delivering a parcel, to the bloke at the shop for serving me, a nod of thanks when a car gives way, to friends for asking how I am… I try my best to acknowledge kindness and care in my life. Saying a simple thank you may only be a little thing, but I hope by truly being gratuitous, it goes a long way.

Morning all. Time to get this back into regular updates I think (although I have no idea who/how many people read this…)

Today’s insight: great work is done by people who are not afraid to be great. 

Initial thoughts: interesting cookie today, for me I feel it harks towards a continuing fear I tend to have… That is sometimes I feel overwhelmed by the almost unlimited potential we have in life. That is to say there isn’t much stopping me taking everything I’ve got and zipping off to become a diving instructor, or whatever. Yet, sometimes the possibility to do almost anything does not have the positive affect on me that most people expect. For me, it tends to add to the burden of decision making. I have never really been the most decisive person, preferring to deliberate and make plans rather than just “winging it”. Perhaps it is time to loosen up and cast away these fears, for a little bit of confidence seems to go a long way. I hope with adopting this kind of attitude that I may even finally get some sort of work/travel plans sorted this week. We’ll just have to see though!

Follow up: well it’s been a week of ups and downs I guess. In battling a bought of illness (again, people please stop harbouring and mutating this stupid cold just so you can infect me again!), I would say I have not been at my greatest this week. In reflection though, the times when I have felt at my peak have been the mornings I’ve made it to the yoga studio - nothing like sweating out a cold! Also taking time not to push myself and recover seemed to have worked. 

Another great event this week was my first interview since I started job hunting 7 weeks ago now! And it was for a job I’m actually very interested in. The position is a classroom supervisor for a franchise called Computer Xpolers, which run after school computer based clubs. Not only would this give me the essential classroom experience I need for my future dream to one day live and teach in Japan, but also I’d get to paid to play with lego robotics! Dream job hey? The interview went well, I think, and fingers crossed! I find out next week and even if I haven’t got the job it will be useful to get some feedback. If this doesn’t pull through it’s back to the drawing board again. Sigh. Job hunting is getting very tiresome I tell you, but when it’s actually something you really want to work hard for I’ve found it really boosts the confidence you need to show you’re great (or we’ll see…)

Hello all. 

Today is a special one, for it is my birthday! So as I set out to celebrate my existence, let’s see what kind of fortune awaits me…

Today’s insight: seeing is believing, but the feeling is the truth.

Initial thoughts: this reminds me of a time my Father sat me down for a chat just before I went traveling by myself for the first time. He said to me “Lucy, my girl, you’re a clever one. You think you know a lot about the world, but just you wait, you’ll see my dear. You don’t truly know these things until you’ve experienced them…” Well 4 years have passed since then and it’s been a real roller coaster of a ride in which I feel I’ve learnt a lot about the world (but definitely not everything!). The most positive aspect of my life currently I would say is my yoga practice, for this is really putting me in touch with how I feel. The plan is to save up and travel abroad to practice come the bitterly cold winter months. I just have this calling to find some sun in the darkest hours and experience something completely different.

Follow up: I am certainly feeling how the days are rapidly darkening at the moment. I’ve found that I always get a bit down at this time of year. With my birthday passing, reflective thoughts dominate my mind. Also with the shortening of the days, I find it takes me a while to acclimatised to the new season, for we are definitely in Autumn now! Past plans made over the summer for now have not exactly worked out either (i.e. to be settled into a job and working hard to save up and get out of here). I feel it’s time to stop dreaming about what could be and realise what realistically can be now. So let’s see if the next cookie will help give a bit of direction, as I’m feeling rather lost at the moment…

Greetings.

Today’s insight is: the roots of true achievement lie in the will to become the best that you can become.

Initial thoughts: A rather sensible cookie today. Although, perhaps, a little self-centered. ‘True’ achievement may well start with willing to become the best, but I would not claim that it is the only way. There are many reasons why we strive to attain our goals, which may, or may not, originate with a sense of self-improvement. So I must say, as interesting as this teaching may be, I think we need to think outside the box a little to include those acts that recognise when our ‘best’ may not be appropriate. For example have you ever deliberately let someone else win at a game just so they can feel included? Sometimes, ‘our best’ may not be what is best for ourselves personally, but rather what’s best for us in a collective sense. I guess it all depends on how you judge these things… I wonder what you think about this?

Follow up: so it’s been almost 4 weeks since I last cracked open a cookie, but before all that excitement again - time for an update. A lot has been going on in the past few weeks. I rounded up the festival season working at Shambala (a magical and tiny one in Northamptonshire). Third year at this one now and I must say this year was the best. Although I had a lot of stewarding work on, it was perfectly balanced with the adventures I had off shift. I think the best part was that this year I actually got round to treating myself to a massage at the beginning and just after a bit of yoga - I felt delightful :) A lovely end to the season and although I knew then I was saying goodbye to many good friends, I know it won’t be too long before we all come together again. I must say being given a supervisor role this year round really got me into it all. I stepped my game up, worked hard, and left feeling on top form. Looking back I do find my heart is warmed with a sense of summer well spent.

After a pit stop at home, I shot up to Cardiff in the hope to nab a job before the students get back. This seems like my best plan of action right now. I still have many good friends here, I know some of the area well, I should have a multitude of ‘transferable key skills’, which makes me a prime candidate for a job - you would think. Alas, 2 weeks in now, my searching is has been non-profitable so far. To be fair I probably need to give it a bit longer, but the thing that is just getting me down at the moment is that all this stuff I’ve done at University (not just the courses, but the societies, reading groups, volunteering) all seems irrelevant. In rewriting CV’s over and over again, I’ve had to compress all of that into 6 lines, to make room for almost trivial buzz words under headers of “skills” and “duties”. I think I shall give the job hunting a rest tomorrow, as just reading that back now makes me realise I may need a short brake from all this job hunting stuff! Let’s see what the next cookie brings to inspire me (I hope)